I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
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