Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
