I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
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