mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
I just made a cocktail. Had one shot of vodka left. It looked lonely so I decided to reunite it with its vodka friends in my bloodstream.
Starting the day at 1:44 in the afternoon. With a hot pocket and a mixer. Who knew my life had this kind of possibility.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
Randomize