what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
Such a big mess for such a small penis
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
Randomize