it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
Randomize
