he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
Randomize
