Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
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