This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
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