i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
babies were throwing up all over the place
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
Randomize
