Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
What a fucking waste of an outfit
I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
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