Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
Randomize
