She said her name was "party"
I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
Randomize
