I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
Seriously, I was a high class hooker. I was snorting shit Rachel, white powder, lines formed with credit cards, the dudes house was beautiful. Magnum condom. Adorable puppy dog. Pretty sure at some point I was sleeping on a washing machine. Boxing Gloves.
Those were the highlights of my night.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
Randomize
