There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
Let's paint friendship bongs
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
You're wonderful. How are you always such a good friend?
50% genetics, 50% driven by a desire for people to drunkenly eat donuts at my funeral and then have fantastic cry-sex afterward.
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
Randomize
