I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Randomize
