I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
Randomize
