I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
he puts the penis in happiness.
Somedays I wish I were a bird. Then people wouldn't be so grossed out when I vomit
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
I DEMAND FORESKIN
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