we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
Randomize