It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
Randomize
