the new term for farting is butt boxing.
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
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