I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
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