physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
Randomize
