Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
Randomize