it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
high people should be assigned attendants
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
