Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
Randomize
