That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
Randomize
