I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
Randomize
