talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
Randomize
