I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
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