My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
Randomize
