Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
false alarm, still single
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
Randomize
