Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Randomize
