Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
Randomize
