check it out our google latitudes are spooning
I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
Dude, I totally just made my launch phrase on my new phone "Wingardium Leviosa" so that when people try it and it doesn't work I can say, "It's leveeOHsa, not leveeoh-SA."
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
Randomize
