Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
then my best friend's brother, boyfriend, and future bro in law showed up at the bar. they asked who i was there with. didn't know if "a 40 year old man" or "my 5th grade teacher" was better answer.
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
Randomize
