You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
Randomize
