You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
Just rescued a super cute pair of Gucci heels off the sorority lawn on my way to work. Things are worth two paychecks. Fuck trust fund kids.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
Randomize
