i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
Randomize
