Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
My drug dealer just texted me that his kid had a rough sleep and was running late to deliver the ounce to my office. Totes adorbs.
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
Randomize
