doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
I'm going to start referring to my liver is Livy. I feel like if I give it an affectionate nickname it will hate me less. Livy isn't ready for syllabus week.
I think we all know your liver needs a man's name.
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
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