i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
Randomize