the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
So I'm drunk playing pool in a bar with a guy I arrested last week for a DUI...if he recognizes me, shit's gonna get real.
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
public service announcement: beginning at 10pm please text me at half hour intervals reminding me to keep my legs shut tonight. Note, this is not a drill.
Randomize
