one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
operation have a gay friend backfired
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
Randomize
