My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
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