READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
Randomize
