so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
Randomize
