She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
Randomize
