i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
Randomize
