before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
Randomize
