I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
Randomize
