DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
First drunken handjob: not successful. Second handjob, mostly sober: much better. Nightly news brought to you by me.
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
try to milk me bitch
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