Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
I understand Curling. That high.
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Randomize
