if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
Randomize
