im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
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