; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Randomize
