apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
Randomize
