chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
Randomize
