i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
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