Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
Randomize
