at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
Randomize