Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
Honestly I miss having a gay roommate. His female friends' implicit trust in him would carry over to me even though they knew Im straight. Best unintentional wingman ever.
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
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