I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
Randomize
