Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
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