i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
Randomize
