found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
Randomize
