this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
