Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
She told me I should be a condom model.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
My boob is missing a layer of skin
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
And then my night got REAL pukey
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
Randomize