Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
Randomize
